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    Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

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    Almael
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    Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 10/19/2009, 1:40 pm

    This one might be surprising for you, but I always intended the story to be like this.
    I tried to write in a different style, but I ended up reverting back half way. I will try better for later chapters.
    I admit I exaggerated a bit with the cat. Realistically, it shouldn't last for more than a day.
    But I couldn't bring myself to kill it off. It would be too cruel this early on, and I didn't want to add more onto the long list
    of incidents anyway. So just imaging the cat with avanced late 24th century Star Trek TNG tech.

    So read on, enjoy, love it or hate it.

    Here are some more detailed information on the cat if you are interested.
    Spoiler:

    It's an expensive fancy gadget. Normally, simpler robotic teaching devices are used. But these lone parents thought it was more appropriate
    for their needs.

    *Rest will be added if not included within the story.*
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    NAME/CHARACTER LIST to be completed
    Part 1, ICY905
    Kailosh: trader ship; missing, presumed destroyed ICY905
    Naro: childcare and teaching robotic cat AI Type Naro 903;2.5 Wesboc (25 kg), solar battery and mini hydrogen fuelcell
    Fuerani Rimel (Rim): female, presumed dead
    Mavech Danyu (Dany): male, presumed dead
    Jusuryua: Local Lord
    Rueda: Base Commander
    Duran: Local president/representative
    [Atosuryua: Imperial Admiral, Baroness; about to be retired]
    [Ramaj: Imperial Admiral, crown princess]
    Dachoc Mia: Hecto-Commander, psychiatry expert
    Idaimh: genetic expert
    ----------
    Part 2, ICY935
    Karyua Shuto: Project Chief
    Karyua Sylia: girl, age 11/12
    Mara: Maid
    Samiora: Kilo-Commander, Project Security Chief
    [Loubash Leta]
    [Spaurh Asen: Grandduchess Letopan]
    group: Nora, Isam, En, Taku...
    [Lady 1,2]
    [Others: Kan(shop owner), Jo (...)]
    ----------
    Part 3, ICY958
    Karyua: Kilo-Commander, sops operative
    Bebaus Ciba: Roïfraudéc, Professor of Spatial technology, Project Chief
    Soda: Kilo-Commander, sops operative
    Manowas Besta: Deca-Commander, Captain of the Fanroil
    Luran: Bebaus' assistant

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Lost Story 3: - INFINITY SPHERE -

    Half a century had past since the fire of the last great human war engulfed the Milkyway. Reconstruction have been done and retribution have been paid.
    Among the nations left, two are most successful, the Humankind Empire by the Abh and the Kaminteil Republic.
    The Abh Empire was the main victor of the war as it has been so often in history.
    The Kaminteil Republic was a technically advanced military nation, which sold its products and services to other nations for a price.
    The price varied from political and territorial issues to just money. And they did not hold back in their demands.
    Depite its small size, it was now the most prosperous and most ambitious. It saw itself as the leading nation among the human nations.
    Other nations did not oppose it openly for their war debt was still substantial. In its ambition to lead, it rallied mankind against the Abh Empire.
    In its false believe of having secured support from its reluctant allies, the first shot was let loose in the heat of the moment.
    Anew the flames of war came over the galaxy....


    Part 1 Chapter 1
    They were simple traders running their errands in the lucrative war supplying business. However, what started as another routine flight turned into a death race. They didn't want to die if only they could avoid it. After all they expected to live a long life, create precious memories together, and see their child grow up. But that was now in the past.
    If they couldn't live, then at least they wanted to die fighting honorable.
    They would happily have trown away life, honor and everything else to at least save their child, who was sleeping peacefully.
    They still had time to do their last bidding, while the enemy closed in on their little ship that had run out of places to flee to.

    "Why do they hate us?" she asked confused.

    "They are only humans. There can be any reason or no reason."

    "Maybe we should all go together," she said, looking into the prepared escape pod at the sleeping child.

    "No. They will see it and get us. We have to distract them." he said.

    "Then at least one of us should go with him!"

    "You know very well that one of us cannot do it alone before they reach us!"

    "Then why not let the ship ram their ship?" she begged.

    "It takes too much time to break, turn around and ram them. Besides they would destroy the ship with ease before it hit."

    She fell silent, turned back resignated to the opening, then closed it slowly while shaking. A warm hand came to rest on hers, and assisted her.
    The hatch closed with a quiet hollow sound, sealing its precious cargo away from everything.

    "Come. We still have work to do." And they moved silently away.

    On the bridge, he took his place and took control from the autopilot. She sat down before her console and watched the machine statuses.

    "We will enter normal space soon. Prepare for acceleration."

    He activated the thrusters at full throttle. The ship accelerated to maximum velocity possible with its cargo. As soon as they returned to normal space they ejected their cargo. It was still travelling at that velocity and covered their back, while they accelerated further away.

    "Planet ahead, 400 secdagh! You have about three minutes for the calculations."

    "Yes."

    The planet was still too far away for precise measurement, but all she needed was distance, speed and atmosphere density. The spectral spectrum showed a moderate oxygen atmosphere. Not surprising since it was inhabited.

    A flight path projection appeared. She starred at it intendly.

    "Don't worry, he will be fine. The nacotics will keep him asleep for a good day. Even if things go wrong he won't notice."

    "So cruel."

    "It's mercy. He won't have to spend his last hours alone and scared in the pod."

    "But still alone and scared on that world."

    "It's the only chance left."

    "I know." She stood up and took some drinks from the dispenser.

    "Here." she offered. "It's the same drink you tried to hit on me with that day."

    "Really, I had to wait to my last moment until you returned the favor."

    "That's my previlege."

    "Your last words indeed."

    "Then let us drink on chances."
    [...]

    Suddenly, laser beams hit the cargo containers behind the ship, debris and content flew everywhere.

    For a moment she held her breath, the feared moment of heartfelt pain was here now.

    "Rim!" She heard him urging, and pushed the buttons.

    The life pod shot away admits various gases and released trash.
    At the same moment antimatter was released behind the ship just seconds before the ship was hit and became a blaze.
    The chasing ship tried to avoid the expanding antimatter cloud, but reached the cloud as it was too fast. Hull matter burned away giving way to debris to slam inside. Damaged, while leaving a trail of vented atmosphere, debris, and bodies, the ship veered away uncontrolable. Before long it disappeared into the dark background of the stage.

    Many hours later the life pod began to decellerate, skid break over the atmosphere, then dived down in a fiery fireball across half the planet. Air foils and small inflatable wings open before giving way to a parachute. At last, it came to rest in a jungle.

    ------------------------------------------------------------

    The soft bed and blanked felt so warm and comfy that he turned around and cuddeled in the warmth.
    But something was different, the bed felt bend somehow and pressing his shoulders.
    He groggily tried to sit up only to hit the soft 'ceiling'. He blinked and looked up.
    It wasn't the ceiling of his room but the soft surrounding of a chamber he was in.
    He looked around the dim lighted chamber. There was no opening. He was confined.
    Panick and fear took over him.

    "Rim! Rim! Help me!" he pounded frantically against the soft surrounding.

    "Master, please calm down." came a familiar voice.

    He turned all around surprised, but saw no one. He wipped his tears with his little arm to see better.
    There, at the darker end below his feet, something began to move. It rose up and moved closer to him.
    Panick stricken the child backed up at its end. The greyish form came to rest on its bottom while holding its front upright.
    It was a cat, but not some cat. It was the mechanical cat, his parents gave him for his 3rd birthday.
    It wasn't exactly a birthday present. Rather it was babysitting him for their convenience.
    The cat had a big blueish thought crystal on its forehead. It reflected light in pretty, but matt colors.
    At close, it appeared to be dimly shining. Once he was told that it was the cat's thoughts, since then it had always fascinated him.
    The cat was smart, it had tought him about many things and games. It was his sole friend.
    And now, it was beyond his realization the only one left he knew.

    "Naro?"

    "Yes. Don't be afraid. You are safe here." said the cat in his usual soft voice.

    "Where are Rim and Dany?"

    "They have left a message for you in your Kryuno."

    The child looked at his wrist computer with its greenish thought crystal.
    It was a much smaller than Naro's, and provided simple functions appropriate for a child.
    It could do more, though, but in childcare modus it only transmitted messages, played records or music.

    His face brightens at the news, so he touched it quickly, "Play message!"

    "My dear child," came Rim's voice, "we are sorry to leave you like this, but we have to
    leave ... for a while. Stay well, and behave yourself until we meet again.
    Naro will stay with you. He will help you so please listen to him.
    Don't be afraid, you are a big boy now, right? Be brave, my child. We love you."

    It wasn't a message of salvation he expected. He was silent, it wasn't like any message he knew before.
    He didn't understand it all, only that they left him behind. He felt a sudden unbearable sadness coming.
    Tears began to form, and soon streamed down his cheeks.
    Trying to be brave he tried to suppress it, but couldn't stop crying silently.
    He was unable to think of anything. It was new, it was strange, it was just scary.
    They have always been together, they have never been gone like this.
    Did he do something wrong and got punished, he thought. But he could not think of anything.
    Maybe they don't like him any more, because he had been playing around with the machinery.
    His thoughts ran back and forth, but this was the only reason he could think of.

    Naro had been watching and analysing the situation. He knew the facts, which he his analysis told him to
    withhold. He was already in extreme emergency mode with neither available nor reachable support.
    His priority was to keep his master alive, but the situation was more grave.
    From a set of analysing tools he generated a new genetic program to analyse thousands of scenarios.
    All told him the same thing, his master was a poor being, and won't survive a moment without him.

    "Naro, why are they gone? Where are they? Will they be back soon?"

    "Master, that I don't know."

    "I have to get out of here. Naro, get me out!"

    "Master, you have to push the blinking panel above you."

    Without hesitation, the boy slammed his open palm on it. The hatch opened along the side length of the pod.
    He rolled and jumped out onto the soft ground and froze. He was in the middle of some forest.

    "Rim, Dany!" Fear and his needs made him shout until he lost his breath, but no answer returned.

    "It's alright, Master. I'm with you." said Naro reassuring while touching at his leg.

    Slowly, he wiped his face. He suddently felt the urge to pee.
    He went around the pod while kept hold of its hull, and began to relief himself.
    The forest seemed to get darker, and he could hear unfamiliar noices.
    He had seen parks and trees before, but this park was different. There was not much grass on the ground.
    The ground was all dirty, and slippery. The trees were tall. He felt he would fall back looking them up.
    The air smelled awfully and humid. Many small threads were connecting the pod with some fabric above him.
    It looked like a parachute he recalled. Yes, it must be a parachute.
    Awed at seeing a real novel item from stories his eyes sought every details.
    The further he looked he felt being sucked into the distance as if the forest was trying to eat him.
    Although, his alpha and spatial sense told him otherwise he could not shunt away the scarry impression.
    Scarred the child ran back into the pod, and tried to close it but couldn't.

    "It's alright, Master. There is no danger. I will protect you." said Naro, who already had come to his side.

    "You will?"

    "Of course."

    "Are there dangerous animals here?"

    "Yes, but I'm bigger than most. I will scare them away." Naro said. He raised his front paws, opening his closed flat fist, revealing
    his clawed fingers. Then he lifted his upper body a bit and demonstrated his clawed jabs, left and right.
    "Like this and that."

    "Aren't you scarred, Naro?"

    "No."

    "You are brave."

    "Naturally, I'm Naro, your nanny and teacher AI cat."

    "Unh."
    A sudden rumble from his stomage resounded through the background noise.

    "Are you hungry?" Asked Naro the obvious question, yet it was one that was courteous and necessary in society as so many other rituals.
    Of course, his advanced sound sensors had detected the signs long ago, after all he was designed to detect and locate babies' whimpers from afar.
    Besides, he had been tracking his master's biorythm for years.

    "Yes." the boy answered with expecting eyes.

    "Come over here." said Naro while leading to one end of the pod.
    There was a full backpack which he pulled away from some visible drawer hatches.
    "There are some food and water packs in here." he pointing at the drawers. Despite having full functional fingers, they were too delicate.
    He could carry a small child or pull an adult with his mouth, but his fingers were far from such menial feats. Therefore, they are
    reserved for emergency use only.
    "Please take them out." Naro advised. This shortcoming had not been bothering anyone. It actually, enforced the child's behavoral education.

    The child took them out. He looked curiously at the packs. Selected one and examined it at every angle.
    He touched, pressed, squizzed, and fiddled at the ends.
    "I can't get it open." he showed it to Naro.

    "Master, there should be a first aid box that has a scissor in it."

    "The box with bandages?"

    "Yes."

    "There, I got." he held it happily up.

    "Good, open it and see if you can find the scissor." said Naro.

    As if having found a treasure box, he examined every item before laying it neatly and orderly at the side.
    "Found it." he finally proclaimed, and went on to cut open the food package.

    "Be careful, Master!"

    "I know how to use it." he replied with confidence, set the scissor at one end, and slowly cut it open.
    "See, it's open." he smiled proudly.

    "Yes, Master. Please put the items from the first aid box back into the box."

    "Unh." He quickly put the items back, but somehow they all didn't quit fit into it.
    "I can't close the box. It's too full."

    "Try to put the items orderly."

    "Unh." He quickly sorted the random items and adjusted their alignment.
    "I got it closed."

    "Good, put the box back in place."

    "Done."

    "Then you shall eat."

    "Wait, I need tissue. Where are the tissues?"

    "No, Master. You mustn't use tissues. "

    "Why? Rim always tells me to use them."

    "No. You have to save tissues for other uses. Now, go on and eat."

    "Yes." He took a bite at the brown candylike bar, munched slowly before, []

    "Do you like it?"

    "Unh."

    "Good. You can only eat one bar. You have to save the rest for other meals."

    "But I am hungry!"

    "Master, there is no more food then these."
    He looked silently at the packs.

    "From now on, you may only eat half a bar for each meal."

    "No, I want to eat more!"

    "Master, you have to behave. I will show you how to hunt. It will be fun."

    "Really?"

    "Yes, but you have to listen and learn."

    "Unh."

    "Are you thirsty?"

    "Yes."

    "You can drink water from a water pack. It's a pack with a little pipe."

    "I got one."

    "Open the pipe and suck at it. You may press the pack lightly."

    "Unh."

    Naro watched silently.

    "Naro, do I have to save water, too?"

    "Yes. I will show you to get more water, too."

    "Unh. Don't you need to drink, too?"

    "Not now. I have enough battery power for a little longer."
    Naro's AI decided to dismiss the fact of him eventually dying, a fact that might disturb his young master.
    If they found water then he will tank some for his internal cellfuel which was able to work on water.
    By doing so his biochemical taste sensors would be able to determine if it was drinkable for his master.

    "Unh."

    "When you are done. Let's go explore the forest."

    "Yes!"


    Last edited by Almael on 10/20/2009, 3:25 pm; edited 3 times in total
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    AlexT
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by AlexT on 10/19/2009, 5:00 pm

    So sad
    So, you decided to try "cinematographic" style? Works well! I like it. Post more
    Spoiler:
    I guess i'm not the one to suggest anything when it comes to writing in English, but maybe some reader perspective can help?
    They were simple traders running their business in the lucrative war supplying business
    2 times business... Maybe like this "...running their errands in the lucrative war supply business"?
    They didn't want to die if they could avoid it
    Sounds a bit strange - it's obvious.. i think adding simple "if only they could avoid it" would make it better

    I wanted to try to do my own "re-mix" :

    They were but a simple traders running their errands in lucrative business of war supplies. However, what started as another routine flight then turned into a death race. They didn't want to die, if only could they avoid it... After all they expected to live a long life, or die with honor at least. Neither was and option now.
    They would happily thrown away their lives, honor and everything they had just to save their child at least, who was peacefully sleeping now, ignorant of danger chasing them through blackness of space.
    And they still had time to do their last, final bidding, while the enemy was still closing in on their little ship which ran out of places to flee to...
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    Almael
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 10/19/2009, 7:27 pm

    AlexT wrote: So sad
    So, you decided to try "cinematographic" style? Works well! I like it. Post more
    Thanks. Well, I wanted to try another style. It just so happens to resemble cinematic.
    I still tend to revert back as soon as I hit dialogues.
    The other part will come tomorrow, I have to fix my style.

    Spoiler:

    You're right. I just wanted to write the start off, and a little inspiration put it forth.
    As you can see some words are missing. That's truely me writting away while thinking, and hence, while thinking ahead, I tend to skip words by accident.
    Will improve it now.

    Edit: updated and posted the other fixed part into first post.
    I think this might get too long (20 points to cover) and maybe boring for a bit longer.
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by AlexT on 10/26/2009, 7:19 am

    I was hoping to post something along with my comment but looks like i'll have to add it a bit later...
    I like the second part - the beginning is very well done. As you know i'm very sensitive to stuff that help to build imaginary scenery and i was pleased - scenes feel complete and all important details and feelings (of "observer") mentioned. The immersion is good.
    I'd make description of the forest the first time child sees it a bit longer and more emotional. It's the little Abh who sees forest on the planet surface. I call these "OMG" moments. Something artists love to paint.
    I also suspect he is smart enough to realize it's planet surface - i bet planets/space/stars is the first thing parents tech their chieldren and naturaly child would wonder what it's like to be on planet surface just like earth chieldren think about space.
    That's one helluva cat. But why is it so low on energy? Didn't they charge him?
    Water is not hard to find in that enviroument btw, and it's the first thing you do - find water.
    I think it would be optimal for cat to go look for water while leaving child in safety of the pod. The cat should be able to find water easily with all the sensors and knowledge he got. I also think survival of the cat is high priority and he should have realized it - with his aid child's chances for survival are so much higher.
    Now you have trouble of keeping it realistic when describing survival in wild forest cuz your cat is sure like walking encyclopedia which means you'll have to be accurate
    If they do it right - chances for survival are high, that's a rich enviroument they landed in.
    Keep it up, waiting for next part
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    Almael
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 10/26/2009, 10:30 am


    i was pleased - scenes feel complete and all important details and feelings (of "observer") mentioned.
    The immersion is good.

    I'd make description of the forest the first time child sees it a bit longer and more emotional.
    Something artists love to paint.
    I'm pleased to serve.
    I wasn't sure if this isn't too much reading/writing and would become boring, though.

    Well, my thoughts are this is a scared left-alone kid so his thoughts now are all about sadness. He is just incapable of anything else.
    He calmed down a bit while reliefing himself, hence, he got to see, but the unknowns scares him immediately.
    This will change as he gets used to the situation ... later.


    I also suspect he is smart enough to realize it's planet surface - i bet planets/space/stars is the first thing parents tech their chieldren and naturaly child would wonder what it's like to be on planet surface just like earth chieldren think about space.
    You bet.


    That's one helluva cat.
    But why is it so low on energy? Didn't they charge him?
    Abh computer and bionic tech. *Bwahaha* *Mad engineer*
    No, they didn't, no time. At any time I expect his power reserves to be at 50%. Max. battery power should be around 100MJ.
    Power usage 40W-120W = max. 694 h - 231 h. So he has around 5 to 15 days of energy now.


    Water is not hard to find in that enviroument btw, and it's the first thing you do - find water.
    I think it would be optimal for cat to go look for water while leaving child in safety of the pod.
    I also think survival of the cat is high priority and he should have realized it - with his aid child's chances for survival are so much higher.
    No worries.
    I don't think he can make such a decision, to leave the kid alone, he doesn't know such desperation nor has he such level of self awareness.
    If he were a ship AI, like the one in the first lost story(which I cut out)....
    Well, this is a cat story part so you will see much more....


    Now you have trouble of keeping it realistic when describing survival in wild forest cuz your cat is sure like walking encyclopedia which means you'll have to be accurate
    No problemo, mon ami.

    Chapter two is different, because I'll try to rid of potential boring elements, in other words it shorten.
    The trick to good scifi writing is to know how to avoid issues or how to leave them out without the reader minding it.


    I was hoping to post something along with my comment but looks like i'll have to add it a bit later...
    Do that and I will post more.
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 10/31/2009, 12:49 pm

    With this the boring introductory part of the story is about to end ... so does the cat's viewpoint ...
    Sorry AlexT, I left out your prefered food, I just don't think an Abh child would it eat.

    #################################################################
    -----------------
    For the moment the boy appeared to have forgotten his troubles and looked forward to discover something new.
    He had always been curious child, and new things easily peaked his interest. This attributed to his quick learning ability,
    but also a lot of headache for the parents when it came down to machinery. By just watching them making repairs
    he had acquired the ability to take machinery or equipment apart. Only putting them together left room for improvement.
    It was all just a puzzle game for him, and while playing he started to understand mechanics, which was of course beyond
    a normal child's development progress. Then again he was a spaceship child. It wasn't uncommon for them to get to know
    machinery early on. Like most Abh children his age, he already knew how to read and to write or rather how to use a computer
    interface. After he had drawn on every surface he found, he had been restricted to draw only when someone was around.
    He had fun drawing and was also quite good, but stopped once he got into machinery.

    The boy leaned back after emptying his water pack. He felt strangely full despite having eaten just one bar.
    It must have been the candy like stuff, he thought. Rim had shown him once how she made goo or pudding using some powder and water.
    It was like magic watching how the stuff swelled up, changed color or became solid. Of course, afterwards, he tried to see if other
    things did the same with water to the dismay of the others.

    "Please put everything back into the drawers before we go." Naro's voice pulled him back to reality.

    "Yes." the boy replied automatically and stored the supply packs away.

    Then he set himself at the edge of the opening and looked around unsure what to think about this new environment.
    The forest was full of trees, plants, roots and strange branches runing everywhere.
    Looking up he could see the huge tree canopy. And it was a bit dim from the tree shadows, but light enough to see everything.
    There was no wind or breeze like the parks had. He couldn't see the leaves well or them moving.
    He stretched his hand out and compared his hand and fingers. It was a huge distance his senses told him.
    He felt so small like an insect, he thought and shuddered. It was overwhelming just like the huge space ships at a spaceport.
    A feeling of falling away or being crushed would have driven him into Rim's arms then. But now this only increased his
    admiration and a bit of lost.

    "Naro, will we be all right?"

    "Of course!" Naro replied and went out. "Let's go, Master."

    A bit hesitant the boy led himself down on the ground and followed the cat.

    "Naro, where are we? This is not a park, right? This is a forest, isn't it? Why is there no wind?"

    "Master," Naro broke in. It wasn't unusual for the boy to ask when he was excited and curious. A human would have been
    overwhelmed under the questions, but not Naro. No, it would have been confusing for his master if Naro didn't answered immediately
    before the boy forgot what he asked.
    "we are on a planet called Hasmond. This here is a jungle, it is more than a forest. It's also called a rain forest, because of the regular rain.
    It has more plants and animals. Because it is very big and has a lot of trees you can only feel wind inside when it is a very strong wind."

    "We are really on a planet?" the boy asked, now more excited than ever. He looked up again.
    He had heard rain would fall from the sky, and tried to see he sky again.
    "When is it going to rain? I wanna to see the rain."

    "Maybe in some hours."

    "Oh.... How big is this jungle? Is it as big as a starbase?"

    "No, it is bigger. You may not be able to see its end even when you are on a mountain."

    "A mountain? Like in the pictures? Can we go there now? I wanna see the top or the snow..."

    "I'm sorry, Master. We cannot go there now."

    "Why not? Doesn't this planet have mountains?"

    "It does, but I don't know where they are. They are probably very far away."

    "Aw..." his master answered disappointed. Like most Abh ships the Kailosh had artistic drawings and pictures displayed on its
    walls. Most of them have been about the landscapes found on planets and mankind's lost craddle. Not long ago the boy had been
    drawing pictures of them. Now being actually on a real planet quickly dispersed this little disappointment.

    "Naro, what are these roots? Why are they above the earth? Do trees grow from air?" he pointed at the tree ahead.

    Naro stopped in his track, and analysed the tree surrounding visiually. His wide spectral sensor allowed him to differ matter
    instantly as well as determine composition to some degree. The tree had half a dozen different plant lifeforms on it.
    It always took him longer to identify something that was vaguely described by someone for something they didn't know.
    Naro ran cross references and description against his database.
    "Those are not roots but are stems," he began slowly his explanation. It's a stem from a liana. A liana belongs to a type
    of plant, which climbs up on anything to get to the top. The stem is also called a vine. These plants do have roots above
    ground for support. But there is no plant that grows from air."

    "Oh." the boy looked up amazed by the climbing plant. "Does it means the liana can move like walking?"

    "No. Trees and plants don't walk. They grow up."

    "So they grow move like a worm?"

    For a split second, Naro analysed the meaning of another weird expression and stored it for later reference.
    "No. It may look so, but they just grow. It takes a long time to do, though."

    "I guess."

    "We should look for very thick lianas. It will have water stored in it we can use."

    "Is is really drinkable?"

    "It tastes a bit bitter. It's safer than anything else we could find. But there aren't going to be many."

    "Unh."

    They walked further for a while. From time to time they saw small birds or animals moving about the trees.
    And everytime the boy would excitely point them out and asked questions. Naturally, Naro went about answering them all.
    Before long Naro determined the day was becoming evening soon and so they turned back.
    Thanks to Naro's advanced mapping ability they found their way back with ease.
    However, the possible mapping size was limited to the complexity of a big starbase.
    Far away trips would force him to store the route, certain places and important resources only.

    "Master, I will go up the trees to recover the parachute." Naro said, when they arrived at the life pod.
    With a sudden lightness, the 70 Dagh(0.7 m) long Naro rushed forward and jumped up a tree.

    The boy watched in awe. He had never seen Naro climbing up a tree or anything before. Actually, he didn't know cats
    could climb, at least not like this. His eyes sought every move of his companion. He felt admiration for elegant creature.

    Although, Naro was smaller and shorter than his master, his streched climbing posture was as tall as his master.
    A bit slow Naro moved to the branch where the parachute got stuck. There he freed the fabric from the branch and cut some of the threats.
    The parachute fell down, where the boy collected it. Soon, Naro began his downward movement which looked like sliding.
    Then he jumped the last distance to the ground.

    "Are you all right, Naro?" asked the boy worried as he saw Naro inspecting his claws for damage.

    "Nothing to worry." Naro replied and came closer. "Let's make a camp with the parachute."

    "A camp?"

    "A camp is like a selfshift house you make to stay somewhere. We will use the parachute to cover the opening of the life pod.
    It will protect us from bad weather."

    "Oh."

    Under Naro's direction the boy quickly secured the parachute and covered the opening.

    "Well done." Naro complemented the boys building skill.

    "Thank you." he smilled brightly.

    "Now, I will teach you how to make fire. Making fire is very important. You must pay attention and learn."

    "Yes." the boy answered expectantly.

    "Good. Now look for a box in the drawers. It should be like the medkit."

    "Unh." After a while the boy held up a box. "Is it this one?"

    "Open it up and look inside."

    "Unh."

    The box was full of tools and gadgets the boy had never seen before. It took Naro a while to explain them all to him until the boy was satisfied.
    "Good. Keep the lighter, fire flint, cotton tinder, foldable stove, and the solid fuel tablet. Put everything else back"

    Without warning a thundering echoed through the air which shocked the boy such that he hit the back of the pod with a little thud.
    "It's alright Master! This is how a thunder sounds. It can be very loud when it's nearby, but you need not worry as long as we are inside the pod."

    "Are we really safe?"

    "Yes. It's only dangerous when you are outside. It's like a very big spark that makes a loud noise. It likes to conduct through metal. So we are safe."

    "So it's like electricity?"

    "Yes, but it's an energy transfer through air plasma."

    "Oh."

    "It will be raining now. We should wait until it's over before making a fire. It will get cold, too. You should put the blanket over yourself, Master."

    All the while more thundering echoed, and soon, rain fell in streams with gusts of wind now and then.
    Cowering in the warm blanket the boy watched eye-wide the rain outside. He watched how droplets formed on the edge of the opening and fell or
    streamed down the side. He leaned over the edge to see how they fell on he ground; how little pools formed, and how waves appeared when droplets
    fell into them. An all the time, he listened to the noise and wind that went around. He stretched his hand to catch the rain and examined the water on his hand.
    It was all so new, so much more than what he had heard. But the wind was cold and wet, and the air smelled awefully bad after a while.
    Then the rained and noise stopped, and everything seemed as before except all was wet, and drops of water fell now and then from leaves above.

    "Has the rain stopped now?" asked the boy unsure of what would happen next.

    "Yes. It's over. It won't rain anymore before morning."

    The boy only nodded while looking outside at the changed surrounding. Naro did the same but in search of a good fireplace only.

    "It appears the ground is too wet to make a fire." Naro noted the fact.
    Turning toward his master he registered an expression on the boy's face that he interpret as disappointment.
    "But," he went on, "we can make a small fire inside."
    As excitement increased, more blood was pumped into the boy's face making it visibly brighter and colorful compared to the colder face from seconds before.
    It was a typical reaction Naro noted, and updated his master's psychological evaluation file.
    "Normally, you shouldn't do this, because fire is dangerous. This time we have safe equipment to use so it will be alright." Naro went on with his lecture.
    "Unfold the little stove and put it on the metal box. This should prevent the heat from doing damage to the pod.
    If you are outside, you have to use stones to make a circle around the fire."
    The boy just nodded while listening.
    "Good. Put the solid fuel tablet in the stove. It will be the material to feed the fire. Outside you will have to use dry wood.
    It's not easy to start a fire. So you have to use an easy to burn material to get it burning before it can become a real fire.
    There are many ways to start a fire. We can use the lighter or the flint stone. Each one will make a spark we can use to light up an easy to burn material.
    We will start by using the flint stone and the cotton tinder. Outside you can use dry tinder or punk inside a dead tree.
    Now, hold the flint stone close to the tinder and use the lighter's end to strike it along its length. You should see sparks coming out."

    "Unh." the boy replied and started to strike the flint stone. Little sparks came out but the cinder would not catch any fire.

    "Repeat this until the tinder catches fire then use it to light up the fuel tablet. If you are outside you should cover it from the wind with your hands.
    So the fire won't get blown out."

    The boy repeated striking several times.

    "Try to strike faster and with more force, Master." Naro advised while taking measurements of the whole exercise.
    For Naro it was an important test for his master's strength and skill. The boy had proofed himself in taking equipment and machinery apart,
    but none required endurance and flexibility as survival techniques.

    The boy tried many times, but did not give up. For one he wanted to see the sparks and fire. Except for his birthdays he never got to make or see any fire
    aboard the ship. And now he was not only allowed to make fire but also see sparks flying. However, the sparks were different from the ones he knew whenever
    he stuck a tool inside some machinery. Since he understood that doing so would break machinery and that it was dangerous he stopped doing it.
    But these here were different, they were yellow, flew and danced longer than the white ones he knew. And best of all it was desired.
    Before he knew it the tinder cought fire. First he saw only a change in color as it burned inside, then a little flame.
    Quickly he put it on the fuel tab, which lighted within a moment. Unlike candles the tab burned all over its surface.
    And the flamme was more blue than yellow, nearly ghostly. It wasn't a big flamme but its heat felt more intense.

    "Well done, Master. Next time, we'll try to do it with natural material you can find."

    "Unh."

    Soon the forest got dark as the sun went down. Naro directed his master to go to sleep while he stood watch or rather sat watch.
    Although, cats are apt for the night, Naro wasn't designed as well. Still his night vision was double as good as that of a human, and with
    his sound sensors he could even outdo an Abh Alpha. He knew there weren't any big dangerous animals in the wild on most planets.
    Most big ones are held in zoos or are just live stock. So he went into a semi-watch mode to save some energy, but ready to spring to life at moments notice.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Part 1 Chapter 2

    Naro was lying on the dry sand bank like a real lazy cat while observing his master catching fish.
    Naro had limited water tightness which allowed him to cross small streams, or take baths, but
    not good enough for excessive activities within. Besides, his grey-matt metallic, photo-electric skin
    was recharging his solar battery. It couldn't be much, not enough for extended movements or to ever fill the
    battery. The same battery was also recharged by his fuelcell. Since the fuelcell worked directly on water
    its output could not be controlled. It always delivered 100% power, so the excessive output had to be
    stored. Two additional normal batteries formed Naro's backup power. Naro's needs had never been
    an issue on the Kailosh, but here, in a land bare of technology, his functionality equals his master's survival.
    When ever he could he saved or tanked energy.

    The exceptional situation and his decisions had already formed new AI decision rules never before found in any Naro type cat.
    With plenty of solar warmth driving his thoughts, he took his time to make an indepth evaluation of the past days and events.

    Since the first day, it was difficult to control his master's consumption of food and water. It wasn't unexpected, but
    it was undesirable.

    Naro was told that the planet was neutral in the war and help may never come. His priority was to protect and extend his master's life as long as possible.

    The food wasn't as much a problem at first as water. There was enough food for at least a month,
    but water would only last for three weeks at the rate his master consumed it. Water was plenty in the rainforest, but also plenty poised with bacteria.
    While recovering the parachute for use, he had checked on the water pools which were collected in the trees'
    main branching junctions far above ground. The water was good, but there was no way for him to bring it back safely.
    Rain and liana were their best source for now.

    Naro had been teaching on various plants and survival knowledge these days when they were wandering.
    It wasn't really teaching as a real living teacher would do. As always he directed or expressed the ideas and advices, found within the databases,
    and left the actual practical problem solving to the young student's ability. Naro's hands were universally useful, but human
    finger skills were still difficult to match, especially when it comes down to little flexible problems.
    Naro's database was not only within its thought crystal but was also extended by optional data chips.
    And Naro had an extensive database due to the customization by the busy parents. He was pretty much a wandering all-knowing AI.
    Even so the database did not include actual experience details only concepts and detailed manual descriptions.
    His master had been a quick learner when it came to tools and machinery, but bored at anything else,
    He would just childishly refuse cooperation when he didn't feel like it, despite actually having learned it.
    The solution had been tricking him into a type of game, but he already outgrew that age and saw through such deceptions a long time ago.
    Now deceptions only worked for new unexperienced areas.

    The first morning, the forest was filled with fog. The fog represented a chance to find a water source such as a river.
    It was easy to stir curiosity in his master for an extensive excursion. After acquiring a flexible wander stick from a fallen branch, the boy
    followed Naro happily with the backpack on his back. Naro simply followed the signs within the forest and the wind.
    Of course it didn't take long until his master began to complain about how far they still had to go.
    Naro managed to keep him going, though. According to calculations, Naro knew his master couldn't endure a trip longer than seven hours.
    Three hours into the trip they finally reached a river bank. It was a big river, but it appeared to have been receeding from lack of water.
    It was probably not heavy raining season Naro had judged.

    They had tried to build traps but it was clear his master wasn't strong enough to build a useable one for sizeable animals.
    Naro had directed his young master in the art of simple fishing. His master's initial enthusiasm soon gave way to frustration until it tired him.
    Still the young boy refused to give up, and it was difficult for Naro to made him go back for the night.
    Since then, they have been coming for fishing every day.

    His master would be standing on a fallen log at the river bank with his spear at the ready. The spear was his master's latest invention.
    The boy had made his first spear according to Naro's instructions, but his failures to catch fish forced him to create new ones every some day.

    Now, the boy kept watching for fish hiding in the shadows to come out.

    Just catching fish had not been the only problem, though. His master had been plagued by insect bites.
    Like most human terraformed worlds the real annoying lifeforms had not been introduced, but came by chance trough trade.
    Others where brought in later by naturalists or settlers. There were, however, no big predators, except those held in zoos.

    Thanks to the long sleeved Abh clothing the issue was limited to hand, feet and face only. The laminated nano superfabric was known to
    endure harsh environment and abuse, but that was no guarantee to last forever. Naro expected the clothing to wear out sometime later.
    Eventually, the parachute will have serve as back up. So far the parachute has been useful in keeping them dry from the daily rain.

    Naro had been looking for plants that met the description for any possible ailment in order to teach his master to create medicine.
    So far they only found some plants, just enough to last for a while.

    After a week, his master succeeded in catching fish regularly enough, to be satisfied. At first he was happy with his first catch, but soon
    was appalled by what he had to do next and by the smell. Naro forced him to stay and become hungry, after all he knew the way back batter than his master.
    The boy naturally didn't accept it and tried to return on his own. Of course, Naro followed closely with the fish in mouth.
    It took Naro a very long speech on edibility, ethics, and a very starved stomach to finally convince the boy to cook the fish.
    With little tears, sad and resentful eyes the boy had ate it, and tried hard to get it down. Eventually, the boy accepted his situation but with less
    enthusiasm than before.

    Now, it has been more than two weeks since they arrived, and Naro had begun to led his master in search of better grounds.
    More accustomed to the environment now, the boy had no problem to follow Naro around with his full backpack. They had been following the
    river for the last few days. Naro had been looking for farmable land or opening in the forest. Of course, it was dangerous if it was close to the river.
    A little flooding would cause the lost of whatever they could grow.

    Aside from searching suitable land, finding a sleeping place for every night had been a constant problem.
    It took them at least three hours to find and prepare a dry sleeping place. All these had to be done before daylight was gone, too.
    Although, his master slept better and calmer than the first days, he still called out his parents names from time to time.
    Naro had already given up on an Abh rescue after a week of waiting. Since then, Naro had been contemplating of leading his master to the people of this planet.
    Naro didn't know the view of these people, but the chances of his master to stay human were higher than living in the wild, especially when Naro was gone.

    It was then that Naro sensed a human odor other than his master. Alert from discovery, he stopped in his track.

    "What is it?" asked the boy perplexed by the sudden stop.

    "A moment please, Master. I will try to find out." Naro's smell sensor wasn't designed for locating humans as a military grade sensor, but enough to smell out babies and dangerous chemicals.
    The smell was undoubtly from human wastes, several wesdagh (x00 m) away. He tried to make out human noises, but couldn't.
    It was too early for human contact, they weren't desperate enough yet, Naro analysed. Naro decided to avoid contact for a while longer.
    "We should go back." he said finally.

    "Already?"

    "Yes, let's go."
    The boy followed without protest, but looked behind him curious as to what made Naro decide to go back.
    It wasn't long before the boy tried to sneak back under the pretense of needing to relief himself.

    Naro waited patiently while examining the area. After a while he got suspicious, and shouted for confirmation but did not receive any.
    Instantly, he rushed to his master's last known position then following his trail. The boy wasn't far of course and he quickly jumped in front of the boy.
    Surprised by the sudden jump the boy stopped involuntarily. Without any hope of passing Naro he gave up silently, and listened to another round of lecture.
    They went back some further before stopping to prepare food and a sleeping place.
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by AlexT on 11/5/2009, 11:23 am

    Exciting Very well written as well. And i don't think first part was any boring, quite the opposite.
    Hm, strange forest - feels like amazonian jungle yet river is dry.. Such plants do not grow in places where water can be of any shortage..but i can be wrong.
    As for fishing - a bit hard technique for a child. Couldn't they make a hook? You can also build a fish trap in such shallow water or just catch fish by hands or by forcing it toward the shore.
    Lack of water should not be a problem - it rains often and the first thing the robot should think about is a rainwater trap (from parachute)- clean and instantly drinkable. And if it's type of forest i think it is - there won't be any real shortage even by using this method only.

    So battery is still a problem for a cat? He got some enegry sources and it still not enough? I guess they'll install reactor in next models to fight this flaw..Btw, maybe instead of dying the cat can go into deep standby mode so that he can awaken after certain period of time and aid his master a little more - after all he (the boy) may encounter new problems or need new knowledge in future. Btw, is cat's memory banks are energy dependant?
    Finaly - the possible encounter with humans...isn't there a gun in a pod? Also - any survival kit should contain a good knife which, btw, could be used for spear. You don't mention knife much but it's the main tool you use for everything in such situation.
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 11/5/2009, 6:23 pm

    Thanks.
    Well, I thought I would never finish this part, so I skipped the details.
    Also I don't want to write a 400 page novel or so. Razz

    The river is pretty wide but there is less water season so it has shrunk and you have sand banks.
    Normal heavy raining season is too dangerous.
    Even so the river is dangerous, as poisonous bacteria and dangerous creature lure at such calm places at this time.

    The fallen log is the natural trap. Also a dug out trap for fish only works when the river is constantly flowing so fishes would seek cover there.
    This is not the case, hence, no dugging.
    A hook won't work well because the fishes you get are too small. Most are not going to be as big as a hand.
    Big fishes are found somewhere else where the stream is more dangerous (down the river).
    This is not a survival guide so I didn't want to go into too much detail. I guess I should have included some explaination.(will do later)

    I will write something more about the parachute then.

    No, the cat doesn't have energy problem anymore, but .... he may be salvaged.
    No, the holographic optical chips don't need energy for keeping memory alive.
    The thought crystal needs photons, it barely needs energy. So yes, he can go into deep standby.
    Sorry, no weapons available. The parents did not have any either.

    I had planned from the beginning to give him a special decoration knife from the parents trade memorials collection. *shrugs* I just dropped it as unimportant.
    I will think about including it later in a certain event if you like it so much. *shudders*
    Well, it's no problem to write some more..
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by AlexT on 12/15/2009, 7:35 am

    It's been a while since you posted new parts, is there anything new on the way?
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 12/20/2009, 1:23 pm

    Here is the next small part. (I haven't spend much time on it.) I have decided to merge two of three introductory solutions instead of one. I would have prefered the third one but that would have left too many questions.
    As it is, this is just the 'cover' stuff the content will reveal more and may seem different.
    So don't be too fixed yet. Laughing
    To take away some questions:
    Yes, I did thought about having a dog. However, the required dog would have to be a quite smart one in order to be useful for the girl....
    As to her name, I have decided on it for quite a while, and it's just a coincidence, Alex. (Not a coincidence, written in japanese would have left an alternative. Wink )

    #########################################################

    As always both went to look for a higher place or rise of the ground as a sleeping place. When they found one the boy started clearing the ground from leaves and
    branches with his stick, while Naro just uses his pawns. This was necessary as insect or unwelcomed creatures often rest underneath leaves, fallen branches or stones.
    Then they gathered wood for fire and branches for a makeshift tent with the parachute. Afterwards, the boy created a trench around the camp with his stick for water to flow away in case of rain.
    All was set now, so they went on preparing water and food. By using a piece of the parachute the boy fetched water, and let it be filtered into his flask.
    Once the flask was full, he went back to make fire, and used the flask to boil the water for drinking.

    While eating his meager meal with some berries, they found the other day, the boy felt tired of his current life. At first it was exciting, but now he had enough of wandering, setting up and breaking camp,
    and eating mostly the same everyday. The insect bites were annoying, nothing was fun anymore. He missed the parents, the ship, his room, his bed, his toys, in short he missed everything else.
    He looked at the fire just outside the tent. At the moment the most comfort came from the warmth of the fire. It made noises, its flames danced around, and projected shadows, and yet it was not something living.
    And still, it was fascinating every time. Sometimes ago Naro had shown him how to use his hands and fingers to create shadows that looked like the silouette of live animals.
    It was fun for many nights, and he often played late into the night, which often displeased Naro. But that was also not that interesting anymore. Looking at the stars above he only wished to be back home.
    Finally, he sighted heavily and lay back to sleep. However, sleep didn't come easily when he was not too tired. Every camp just felt different, he would move around a while until he found some comfort.
    However, most annoying was the forest which seemed never to sleep. There was always some noise from tree branches, leaves, animals and insects. At first, he felt his lost of privacy, always being eyed by something.
    Now, he only tried to shun it away as best as possible. Especially not trying to think about insect moving all over his body when asleep. The boy shuddered once again by the creepy thought.
    During the first nights he had to use his Kryuno to play lullabies to help him get to sleep. Although, the wrist computer crystal recharges with light it's energy reserves got too low to be used.
    Also Naro had insisted to keep it functional for its communication capabilities. He turned back and forth into different positions until he was tired enough to fall asleep.

    The growing depression of the boy was noted and carefully observed by Naro. His master had been quiet for the last days, he wasn't the happy asking, talking boy he used to be.
    Naturally, Naro attributed it to the secludeness and home sickness, but it was his duty to make sure it was nothing more serious. Naro had been lecturing and put forth new games to occupy his masters mind, but after
    three weeks the routine has become boring. Naro decided to continue standard education, at least the ones not needing graphical display or other tools they did not have at hand.
    While his master was sleeping Naro began his little patrol for dangerous creatures around. Naro had not seen any big animals yet, but it was not uncommon for escaped livestock to multiply in the wild on planets such as this one.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Part 1 Chapter 3

    The planet Hasmond was one of just five planets in the Batan system located in a desolated part of plane space close to the Abh Empire and the Kaminteil border.
    The system was small and had a big asteroid belt outside. The system's isolation never captured much attention. Hasmond was once a dead rocky planet that had been terraformed a thousand years ago.
    Since then it was witness to changes in human society that came to be in time. At first, a highly terchnological society settled in, then growing population and isolation led to mass emigrations.
    High trade cost turned the people's attention to nature, agriculture took over, and finally farming became the normal lifestyle.
    The planet has a losy planetary government elected from representatives from each region. Technology was usually scarce but more common in towns or cities of old.
    Public services and other marks of a technological society are likewise represented. Despite the shortcomings, the people were happy, because they lived as free humans.
    They lived as they believed they should and entrusted everything to fate or destiny.

    The sky began to lighten when she woke up. The cock already anounced it, but there was no way she would have noticed. With her fingers she cleared her eyes from the signs of the night, streched herself live into the sleepy body. She sat up, and done her hair up in a ponytail.
    Then she opened the window, put her blanket to dry, and lit her oil lamp, which was technically the most advanced tool in the house. With it she went into the kitchen, which was the room next to hers and the only other room in the house.
    There she purred water from a jug into a bowl to make herself ready. When done she went with a bucket to the outdoor toilet and made sure to clear it of any unwelcomed overnight guests. It was rather a nice little house her uncle had build once with an easy pot exchanging door in the back.

    After her short business she went to get fresh water from the river upstream. Then she took care of her handful livestock of hens and gooses who were already up and running within the fence. They gathered around her for attention. They pocked and gnarled at her which hurt but she got used to it and knew how to avoid most of them.
    She refilled their water and strew wheat for food. She fondled them and touched them to check their health.

    Then she went back for her own breakfast, break and jam. Soon she went to check on the wheat field. The wheat was a tropical species similar to an ancient wheat from a land called china on earth. It was the basic food source for those people in the past and still continued to be one for the majority of mankind.
    It wasn't a big field but more than enough to supply her all year round. It was nearly time for harvest, and she must not miss the timing. She took her time to look at them closely, cleared weed here and there from the field. Satisfied she went on to her little vegetable garden.

    The garden was her pride and her main daily food source. There she was also growing flowers and herbs. Here she also took time to check, and clear weed as before. Once again she had a feeling as if something was amiss. She had that feeling for the last several days, but now it seemed unmistable.
    Before some tomatoes seemed to have disappeared, but there were too many to be sure. Now one carrot was definitely missing. Someone or some animal must have taken them, but it was strange that there were no tracks. Usually animals do lots of damage and either eat one sort or many at a time.
    This was the work a smart thief planning to stay around for long. It was certainly no one she knew since they are all living too far away. No one would be interested to walk half a day just to take some of her vegetable. Besides there was no reason for them to socialize with her.
    They minded their own business. They wouldn't want people interfering with them and they interfered with no one else either. If someone wanted to live alone and be let alone it was his own business. It was not her choice but everyone knew it was better this way. She sighted at the thought.

    This could only mean a runaway or more likely a stranger was here. Definitely someone who never heard or knew of her uncle. Otherwise none of the local villagers would dare to harm her. She felt a little uneasy, but also curious as to the new arrival's identity.
    She looked around a bit. Maybe she was stalked but the stalker was obviously very good at hidding. She decided to go on with her routine and look out for opportune moments.

    After the regular morning chores she decided to sit at the porch, and repair baskets and finish making a new pair of sandals. After each weaving and binding the straw she would inspect it from all angles while glancing around.
    Before long she hammered her handy work into its finished form. The new pair was perfect she thought. The weaving was tight and strong. She hopped it would finally last as long as her uncle's. She tried it on. It fit well, but the straw still felt too uncomfortable.
    All done she left the baskets and sandals beside the door, before taking her laundry to the river.

    -------------------
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by AlexT on 12/21/2009, 4:06 pm


    Nice! This sounds a little bit different than main storytelling style. The part about the girl feel even more different, serving it right. It may sound crazy, but i can "see" the change in pallet of the picture from cool green/blue/white with just a hint of brown to where brown/yellow dominates with less green. This means text does very good job of painting the picture - i always believed this is what details are for in any story - the more you add without overloading it the higher "resolution" and "quality" the imaginary picture is.
    It made me wanna paint a conceptsketch in color (right after i draw a shaded ball the 3000'th time ) , but it feels the picture is missing something...there's nature, a landscape, character by fire...but no terrifying derelict ship/city/ruins on background Smile It's not a must, but you always find it in most concepts - the sci-fi element Very Happy So, will there be such an element or the planet is all about agriculture and stuff?

    My suggestion is - add more "alien factors" to the world here and there. Be it plants, animals or 2-3 moons on the night sky, mention that boy can't recognize any stars/galaxies whatever - a slight and gentle hint to reader that it's an alien world and not a walk in a park Wink Stronger mood of a distance, loneliness...which is about to change. Since there's not much facts/action going on it's all about mood, feelings, atmosphere. But anyway - it's good as it is anyway Very Happy

    Anyway - you definitely doing great with this type of story, keep it up!


    Last edited by AlexT on 12/22/2009, 9:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 12/21/2009, 7:53 pm

    Thanks.

    I didn't want to make a long intro, but I also didn't want to dismiss details. I'm glad it was alright.


    AlexT wrote:Nice! This sounds a little bit different than main storytelling style.
    I tried to adjust it to the girl in order to give a feel of her character but not explicitly spelling it out.


    but it feels the picture is missing something...there's nature, a landscape, character by fire...but no terrifying derelict

    So, will there be such an element or the planet is all about agriculture and stuff?
    lol The agriculture stuff is there to introduce the general mind set of the people.
    That's going to change soon Wink when I start introducing/hinting one overworld event at the end of this chapter.


    My suggestion is - add more "alien factors" to the world here and there.
    a slight and gentle hint to reader that it's an alien world and not a walk in a park

    Since there's not much facts/action going on it's all about mood, feelings, atmosphere.
    Well, I just don't know where exactly to build that event yet: after the meeting or after an incident. But I can give a view of the sky.Laughing

    Yep, it's mostly about characters.
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 7/21/2012, 7:54 pm

    The boy shrunk a little smaller in his little hideout in the bush when she passed by. He held still while watching her, and thought how full she was of grace and beauty. She was older, how much he was not sure, since he hadn't seen that many people yet, less real humans.
    He had been stalking her since this morning, wanting to know who the owner was they had been stealing food from. At first he did it out of wanting to eat something different, but it became more often. He felt guilty not to mention Naro's nagging on his conscience. Despite being artificial Naro is sometimes too much of a nanny. On the other side Naro is family. The boy had no choice but to accept it. For the time being, the boy was happy to be allowed to spy. Or more precisely, he ran away so close to the girl’s place that Naro had no choice but to keep silent. It was a cold silence or rather a cold starring silence.
    Naturally, Naro wasn’t happy with the situation. That is if the concept of feeling or happiness can be applied to an AI. Not too long ago the boy had been bored aboard their ship after having learned everything about it. Now on this new world, the boy’s curiosity was boundless. It had been difficult to rein him in and keep order. At the rate his rebellious nature is developing, Naro judged, it won’t be long until he lost authority over the boy. Naro was sure the boy already realized that he was the master.

    Meanwhile, the girl was already sitting by the river. She took off something from one hand, and held it up. It was something that glowed with color. Her body was straight and slender, and although, it looked relaxed it had almost a look of quiet alertness.

    The boy starred hard. It must be some jewelry, he thought. He had never seen any other than his mother’s necklace. It must be one of those rings; he told himself and nodded proudly to his conclusion.
    She suddenly looked about herself, prompting the boy to instinctively bow his face toward the earth. Fear took over his body and froze it momentarily. His face became flushed and sweat formed on his forehead. Then he realized it was unreasonable for him to cover his face while hiding in the bushes. The boy peeked back in time to see her tying her ring to a tether around her neck. Then she went about her laundry.
    Weird, the boy thought. Why not putting it into her pocked, he wondered. Before he could dwell further on the issue, he was shocked to see her soaking her clothes in the river. Why would she do that, he asked himself. Every time he spilled water or got himself wet his mother would get angry. He had learned well not to do so any more, sometimes the hard way. As he observed her using some kind of soap, he thought, it was a weird way to wash clothes. Humans are weird, he concluded.

    Naro started to tug on his shoulder. The boy turned over his shoulder and came face to face with Naro. It was a very close face to face. So close, the boy thought, he could hear Naro telling him it was time to go, even though, Naro didn’t spoke a single word. The boy paused, thinking about refusing, but Naro’s increased pressure on his shoulder was convincing enough to give up. After all, Naro was more than strong enough to beat him. And the boy did not desire to be beaten or getting discovered yet.
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by AlexT on 7/22/2012, 4:53 pm

    study cheers

    It's good, you been practicing writing, maybe some other stories? I like the style, the atmosphere is good, everything is easily "imagineable". Waiting for more bounce
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 8/5/2012, 1:26 pm

    Thanks. Very Happy
    Not really. I'm not sure if I can keep the style.
    Anyway, since parts 1-3 are actually novel sized I feel like picking up the pace. I also don't remember any more the reason for some story decisions I have made Laughing But it's ok I have already outlined the story. Posting some later today.
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 8/5/2012, 7:12 pm

    This is going to start a string of serious events, and I'm going to hit the limits of fiction. Not sure if I should censor things, but I won't cut on the realism.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    Soon noon went by without incidents as does the rest of the day. The boy had trouble falling asleep. His thoughts revolted around the girl and the things he observed. As if it was not enough, the humid evening made his skin feel so itchy and uncomfortable. He turned around for a long while before his tiresome body put him to sleep.

    The next morning the boy felt so tired he didn’t want to stay up despite Naro’s efforts. After another minute Naro gave up, went outside the tent and sat down to wait. While recharging some of his energy with daylight, once again, Naro used the opportunity to access their situation. So far they were lucky and did pretty well, except for a bit of stealing some local’s garden. For the time being they have stopped to do that which would keep their profile low. The planet’s 23.5 hour day had become an obvious problem. The lack of sleep and off-days has accumulated quite a bit. Naro was hoping they could keep doing all they can at the beginning as long as his master was fit. They hadn’t rested a single day since arriving on this planet. The harsh environment and condition has already left marks on his master’s body and mind. According to his estimates his master has lost chubbiness, but gained more muscle mass. He had become a bit leaner and stronger. The difference between his natural growth and the change due to daily fishing exercises were not apparent to Naro yet. It seemed unavoidable to introduce some regular days of rest to counter the stress and fatigue. In any case, to make up they had to be more efficient in collecting the necessities today.

    Some hours later they have been going around the girl’s house and explored the grounds beyond it. There was a bush rich area ideal for collecting fruits. Naro and the boy had split up for the time being. Naro was carrying a bag of his own for collecting food. Actually, it was one of the big emergency handkerchiefs with its endpoints knotted together at his neck. It wasn’t the best but very convenient. What’s more it was his master’s idea even. Naro had feared his master’s mind could have become dull but it seemed to be the opposite. The proverb “necessity begets ingenuity” seemed to be true once again he noted.*

    [Note: Actually, computers can be creative, and certainly an AI like Naro. I just wanted to use a typical scifi cliché.]

    The boy was still tired from the night and dragged his feet in the belief of somehow preserving his strength. He really didn’t want to go on collecting fruits and vegetables, but it was necessary today. He carried his backpack on one shoulder with open top, allowing him to simply grab a fruit and put it in. The boy wished he could go explore the girl’s home or observe her instead of this boring task. He yawned and cleaned his eyes off tiredness that felt so overwhelming.
    Suddenly Naro appeared, and pushed him down. “What...,” began the boy to shout angry, but got cut by Naro’s paw.

    “Please, stay calm. Some humans are close by.” Whispered Naro while holding he head high and trying to locate the threat. It was unexpectedly difficult to track them. For some reason their movement was quiet and they didn’t appear to talk at all. Going through possible scenarios Naro concluded they must be hunters. It was a bad situation. His master probably could not outrun them. Running alone was dangerous in general. Not to mention the noise they would make. It was best to simply play dead. At worse Naro would have to lead the hunters away. “Master, let’s stay down and play dead. I will draw them away if necessary. Just stay down.” he informed the boy of his plan.

    The boy only nodded trusting in Naro’s amazing senses. He knew too well how useless it has been to play hide and seek with Naro. But that was not his concern now. All kinds of rumors about humans were running through his head again. He remembered how cruel humans could be. The boy instinctively tightened up while adrenalin pumped through his body. He felt his body heating up to unbearable levels. But he was too scared to move an inch. He began hearing the humans coming closer. He glanced to Naro who was not moving at all. This was partly calming but he rather wished to know the situation.
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by AlexT on 8/6/2012, 5:19 pm

    study
    Exciting, now who those hunters might be? If they are just local hunters - boy chances to stay undetected are pretty high
    Since there are human settlements nearby - human tracks won't attract attention, but robot is another thing...

    But maybe that's a search party... Shocked then Naro should've thought of moving away from landing site the moment he saw a human (since planet was colonized then there's a chance they have radars etc)
    He also should have detected them sooner. Yes they are moving quietly, but it just means he didn't hear them miles away.

    P.S. I bet after this incident Abhs decided to upgrade all their "cats" into fully equiped small battle mechs Very Happy
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    Re: Lost Story 03 - Infinity Sphere

    Post by Almael on 8/7/2012, 4:25 pm

    Not gonna spoil it.

    Well, daylight basic noise level and scattering due to the vegetation makes it difficult to register someone who goes carefully. My estimates is about 100-200 meters for sure.

    Read on and you will see. Very Happy
    -------------
    There's a background part I have written at the beginning but was not sure where to put it. Now I think I just missed the opportunity. *shrugs*
    Well, it will come next.



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